By now, most of us are aware that Whitney Houston died this past weekend. A celebrity and/or musician’s death is often accompanied by the obvious RIP social media posts, a burst in record/movie sales, and a sudden mass interest in their life and career. No doubt these actions are sincere, and warranted, but I cannot help but ask why now? Where was the support and interest while the individual was alive? These actions lead me to believe that the best thing a celebrity can do for their career is to pass on; the more tragically the better. It sounds morbid but the truth in this statement is what is really disturbing.

The series of actions taken by an individual after a person’s death or absence in their life is very predictable. Humans always want what they cannot have and appreciate things more when they are no more. This is the same for relationships, a job position, a living situation etc. While I was living in Milan, Italy, during university, I saw the same thing. It was much easier to appreciate Italy and all the beautiful places we experienced, when I was living back in Canada, wishing I was back in Europe. There were also a lot of exchange students living in Italy with me who spent their days and nights working, never leaving their rooms and experiencing their new environment.

We are all guilty of not appreciating someone or something enough while living it. Envision the change of a person, item or situation in your life. Would your actions or attitude differ with that change in your life? If someone was gone, would you appreciate them more and want to tell them you love them more often? If you did not have your job, would you wish you had complained less about the work or your boss? Take a deep breath, put things in perspective and recognize the situation or person for what it is. Try to look at things with a more appreciative eye. Viewing things with gratitude is not easy, especially when it is so easy to view the world through the lens of a news camera; negative, fearful, and judgmental. The habit of looking through this warped lens is probably engrained in you after years of doing so; however, you can change it. I would encourage you to start a gratitude journal. Before bed, write down 3-5 things that you are grateful for that day. Some points may be very general, like how you may be grateful for your house. You will however, become more specific and recognize immediately when a situation occurs that you are grateful for. Your appreciative eyes will quickly develop; leaving no reason for any person, item or situation to pass without receiving the deserved gratitude and appreciation.

Part two of ‘Smiles Are Contagious’

Once you have mastered the smile, try to say hello to people you see. You can say hi to people you do not know who you pass on the street. Especially if you see someone more than once, feel free to say ‘hi’. Strangers will not give you rare incurable diseases for which you will forever regret your interaction. You will soon master this as well. You would be amazed at how much good will come your way if you respect the people around you, whether it be the man picking up the garbage on the streets or the CEO in your elevator.

As I awoke early one morning to go to the gym, the sun had barely risen and there were not many people on the streets. Again I saw the same man who had passed me the day before at exactly the same time. The day before I had simply smiled, but having seen the same man for a second day in a row, this time I said “Hello, good morning”. He stopped me and insisted to know where I was from and complimented me on my manners and my parents on raising such a wonderful young woman. He had not failed to notice that everyone in the city is always in such a rush and no one ever says hello. It was refreshing for him to have someone say hello to him. He said “thank you” and sent me on my way.

People could sit next to the same person on the bus for a year and it is very possible that neither one would start a conversation. Maybe they feel like their time to chat has passed, they are too busy, or worse, they never noticed the person.

So pay attention to those around you, don’t be afraid to say hello. Acknowledge each other and the presence we have in this world. We are not in it alone. If you feel uncomfortable saying hello right off the bat, start with a little smile and see if the person reciprocates. Little things like a smile, a hello, please or thank you can change this world and the people in it. Let the experiment begin.

Louis Armstrong was on to something when he sang “Oh when you’re smilin’ keep on smilin’ the whole world smiles with you.” Just a smile and no words can get you far! While I was living in Milan, my Italian was not very strong and I often didn’t have the words to say what I wanted to express. I caught on quickly, and although Italian is not my native language, smiles are universal. No matter where you go, or who you see, when you smile, everyone understands what you are trying to say. A smile takes away all negativity (even for a second) and has the power to ignite a ray of light and happiness in one another. Some may call this the warm and fuzzies or butterflies, but regardless of what you call it, a smile ignites a positive and enjoyable feeling, that we all wish we felt more often.

I tested my theory again when I was doing promotions for a company and handing out flyers to Toronto’s pedestrians. It is not the most comfortable job standing there and giving complete strangers a piece of paper that they really do not even want! So I tested a bunch of “looks” on pedestrians as I tried to hand out flyers. I tried the half closed mouth smile, the open mouth smile, and the very open mouth showing all your teeth smile! As I am sure you would have guessed, my very open mouth smile showing all my teeth smile attracted the most people. Maybe I was scaring people into interacting with me, nevertheless, people’s actions changed when I wore a warm and inviting smile. People were actually asking me for flyers and I was handing out a flyer to almost every person who walked by. Because I threw myself out there, stood in the middle of everyone, and had a huge smile on my face, I started getting the confidence to speak to people, and compliment them on their various clothing garments that they were wearing. Once the compliments starting flowing, people responded very well and started wishing me a wonderful day. I have to admit, being this way on a regular basis does take some work and additional energy that may even require some additional sleep, but I found it worth my while. Just as my smile gave others an internal feeling of happiness and comfort, while I was smiling, I felt it ignite a little fire inside me. Igniting a fire within me, in turn sparks others internal light, allowing them to directly affect people in the same way I have impacted them.

This can even be thought of as simple “pay it forward” action. For every person you smile at, you will automatically change their state of happiness during that moment. With a simple shift in mood, the likelyhood of them spreading their happiness is astronomical… and so on and so forth…

So try it out, when you pass people on the street, pick one, two or more people to give a smile to. Some people’s friendly response to you may be refreshing, but do not be offended if the people you choose do not smile back at you. Some people are in their own world and do not even pay attention to those around them. With your smile, you may also catch them off guard, since being friendly is not necessarily considered common practice anymore. With this in mind, send smiles without an expectation of receiving any in return and when someone sends you a smile, accept it graciously and give them one in return.